


I wished it would have stayed grey

by reveetoile



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soulbond AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:08:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11886714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/pseuds/reveetoile
Summary: Ohno and Nino are lovers. They were lovers since long ago and are happy. There is just a tiny problem: Nino made sure that Ohno knew that their relationship would end the moment one of them found their soulbond. The bigger problem? Ohno kind of found his soulbond.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I found this as a prompt at Tumblr. I don't exactly remember the prompt but it stayed with me and in the end, I wrote this. The prompt in general was something like this: In a world where soulbonds exist, you live your life in colour blindness until you find your soulbond. Person A & B are together since long but aren't soulbonds. Person A meets Person C (his soulbond) and it ends with all of them happy.

Ohno woke up early this day and looked beside him where his lover Ninomiya Kazunari was still fast asleep. Nino was a composer and went to sleep late last night since inspiration took hold of him suddenly when they were about to go to bed. Scared of losing that spark of inspiration Nino had kissed him tonight and went to their shared studio to work on the music. Ohno was curious if he was able to write all of it down and hoped that the younger man would play it for him later today. He loved drawing while the other played his music. And Nino told him that his muse stroke more often if he could watch him drawing so they decided early that they would share a studio.   
  
It also helped with the rent because they didn’t need that big of a flat if they only needed one studio and not two. So Ohno wasn’t all that sure if Nino was completely truthful or suggested it because of his stinginess too.   
  
With a smile, Ohno kissed the forehead of the small figure beside him and pulled the blanket a bit higher when Nino moaned and moved to the other side so that he wouldn’t have to wake up. That movement showed a little bit of his naked shoulder and Ohno had to hold himself back not to shower it with kisses. Because that way he would wake Nino up for sure. And then the other would be grumpy at him because Ohno was sure that Nino only came into their bed about three hours ago. So he forced himself out of the bed and shuffled over to their little bathroom to take a shower to wake up fully.   
  
In his mind, he thought about all the things he had to do today. Like finishing that one portrait for a client and then he had to go to the city hall where his next exhibition would take place. If he wasn’t there on time Jun - his agent - would kill him this time for sure.   
  
Ohno sighed deeply he hated doing such things because he wasn’t a big talker and mostly didn’t care about the outline of his work. Jun knew which way his pictures would look the best better than he did either way. But Jun always said he should be there when they talked about exhibitions. Ohno left the shower and grabbed a towel. While he was drying himself he realised that he forgot his clothes in their bedroom. So he put the towel around his hips and went first to the kitchen to bring the coffee machine to life with a click of a button and went back to the bedroom to finally get some clothes to put on. Nino was still sleeping in their queen size bed and Ohno got lost in watching him for a little moment with a smile.  
  
He loved Nino so much that even the thought of not being with him seemed silly and scary. He knew Nino felt the same. But Nino also believed that only soul mates were truly meant to be. He feared each day that Ohno would find the other half of his soul and would then leave him. Ohno couldn’t imagine ever finding someone who was as perfect for him as Nino was. And he didn’t care to find one. Ohno left the room silently to get his coffee and carefully put a bit milk in it. Yes, of course, he was curious as to how the world would look for him if it wasn’t dipped completely in blacks, whites and greys. But if that meant having to leave Nino he didn’t want to find out.   
  
Ohno decided early in their relationship to never leave Nino and hurt him that much. Even if he found his soul mate. He would try his best as to not tell Nino because Ohno knew Nino would tell him to go and be happy with the other one. Ohno knew for sure that he would never feel as much love for anybody as he did for Nino. And besides, not all soul mates ended up with each other. Of course, you shared a bond of deep understanding but that didn’t mean you fall in love with the other or were attracted in that way to them.  
  
On the other hand, Ohno would let go Nino if Nino was the one to find his soul mate. It would kill Ohno and break his heart but he only wanted to make Nino happy. And if Nino thought happiness laid with his soul mate then so be it. And Ohno knew he was selfish but he wished fervently that neither of them ever would find their other half. He was happy right as it was and didn’t want to change anything, but perhaps Nino’s insecurities.   
  
  
  
Ohno finished his coffee and his breakfast that consisted of a simple bread to appease his hunger. He would eat real breakfast with Nino in an hour or two when the younger woke up. Nino hated eating alone and he wasn’t that hungry at the moment either way. He went into their studio and stood in front of his canvas where he painted the portrait of his last client. It only needed a few more details and he would be finished, hopefully in the next hour or so. He was surprised how much people liked his pictures to be honest. As he couldn’t distinguish the colours without the help of a little device - which he normally only used on his clothes so that he won’t pair the strangest colours together - he decided early in his career to only use pencils or black paint, later on he took dark canvases and painted on it in white. Both kinds of pictures were popular around many as most artists tried to go around their disability to discriminate the colours and don’t embrace that.   
  
Ohno didn’t care about any of that. Or how people interpreted his pictures. He just liked to draw and paint what he sees. And that was just what he did. As he painted he forgot about the time and only when he had finished he realised that there were sounds coming from inside their flat. That had to mean that Nino was already awake. Ohno felt a little bad that he didn’t realise how late it got as he wanted to surprise Nino with a perfectly cooked breakfast. But at the same time, he was happy about it, because he liked Nino’s cooking better than his own. Everything Nino made for him just tasted extra special.   
  
He cleaned his hands with a wet cloth before leaving the studio and went in search of his lover whom he found finally in the kitchen just as he had thought. Nino’s hair was still a mess and he wore the pants Ohno knew Nino favoured to sleep in. But he was wearing a shirt that was too wide for his small frame now and one side of it slid down of his shoulder and showed that bright shining skin that Ohno was so fond of. This time he didn’t need to worry about waking Nino up so he went close to him to hug him from behind and let his lips dance on his shoulder blade to his clavicle to put a wet kiss on it too.   
  
“Good morning to you too,” Nino said upon his attack with an amused lilt in his voice and Ohno’s embrace got a bit tighter for a moment.  
  
“Good morning,” he finally answered and kissed the sweet lips of the other when Nino moved his head so that they could look at each other. Ohno looked him in the eyes and smiled a bit. That was the only thing he actually regretted. He couldn’t see which colour Nino’s eyes had but he imagined that he would fall even more in love with him if he could see it. “Did you sleep enough?” he asked worriedly then and put his hand on the cheek of Nino who chuckled warmly and nodded.   
  
“Plenty of sleep. And I will take a nap when you are in the city hall. So would be so kind and unhand me so that I could finish up our breakfast/lunch? If you want to help you can set the table for two, please.”  
  
Ohno grinned and took a step back - not without pressing another peck on that delicate shoulder blade in front of him - and went to do as he was told by the other.   
  
  
  
“Did you finish your assignment?” Nino asked between bites of his rice and Ohno nodded smiling happily.   
  
“Yup, I finally finished it today. I will tell Jun when I see him later so that he can collect it and give it to her,” he answered and Nino hummed a little at that. “What about your song from yesterday?”  
  
“I have to review it over the next few days to be able to finish it,” Nino explained slowly and grinned when Ohno looked at him pleadingly and with a big pout on his lips. Nino giggled a little. It was that sound which made Ohno fall in love with Nino at first and then many other things that he did or was made him just fell harder and harder till he was totally lost. “I’ll play it to you when you come back. How does that sound?”  
  
“Great. Thank you.” Ohno hummed happily while eating the rest of his really delicious meal and helped Nino clean the table. Afterwards, he got ready to leave for the city hall and kissed Nino goodbye who finally went for a shower himself.   
  
Ohno took the train like he mostly did whenever he had to go into town. He didn’t own a driving license and the taxi fare was too high if you asked Nino. Besides Ohno liked using the train. He liked looking at the changing scenery while sitting in there and looking at the people in theirs. The couples, the sweethearts, best friends or just schoolmates. It made him want to sketch those things.   
  
His phone rings and he looked at it curiously and saw that it was a message from Nino.   
  
>Don’t fall asleep and miss your stop.<  
  
He grinned and looked where he was for a moment before getting up when he realised the next stop actually was his. He stepped off the train and walked a few steps until he wasn’t in the way of anyone to write Nino a thank you and pocketing the phone again. Then he looked at his watch and picked up his pace to be at the city hall and his meeting with Jun on time.   
  
  
  
The meeting went well. Of course, Ohno didn’t think anything else if Jun was the one who managed everything and all Ohno had to do was nodding his head at the xxxvorschläge the younger man made and put in his own input even if that was really small. He just wanted the place and kind of his centrepiece changed and the beginning a little bit different because he had visualised both things already. The rest was perfect a Jun described it to him.   
  
“I wished you would be able to paint with colours,” Jun said in the end when he looked at his pictures and Ohno shrugged.  
  
“Even if I would be able to see colours I’m not sure I would use them. I am happy with the work I do right now.” Jun groaned and hit the older slightly on the head.   
  
“You should at least think about the people who like your art a bit.”  
  
“I have you for that,” Ohno giggled and checked the time on his phone when they left. “I should head home. Kazu will play me his new song today.” Jun rolled his eyes a little but couldn’t really hide his soft smile.   
  
Jun had been Nino’s friend before Ohno’s and just as the other friends around Nino they were worried about how miserable the boy was right after his mother died. Ohno met Nino shortly after and they were attracted to each other. All of them were surprised they actually weren’t soul mates for each other but in the end accepted that they were becoming an item really fast and were happy that they were together till now.   
  
“Then go. I can talk to the owner on my own. In the end, you won’t say a word anyway and that’s just so impolite. If I tell them you had another appointment it’s only half as bad,” Jun said and Ohno grinned thankfully before bowing and hurrying out of the gallery. He walked fast to the train station and groaned when he realised that it was around the rush hour. That meant: it wasn’t full to the extreme yet but overly full and normally he would avoid getting on the platform with that many people around him. But as he didn’t want to go anywhere else and wait for at least two more hours he fought his way through - not really bothering to apologise to everybody he knocked into - and heaved a relieved sigh when he was on the train and could actually secure himself a seat. He leant back in it and closed his eyes to take a nap for the half an hour he would need till he reached his destination.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing he realised when he opened his eyes the next time was that his phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly got it out to answer and checked where he was.   
  
“Hey Oh-chan, can you bring milk on your way back home? We ran out?” Nino greeted him.   
  
“Of course. No problem. Anything else?” he asked and looked around confused. He blinked a few times because something didn’t seem right. Everything seemed different than he was used to. In the sleepy state, he was in it took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out what was wrong. The whole carriage looked completely different. It wasn’t in the grey shades he knew but actually a lot more colourful. He could only difference between a few colours but Ohno almost instantly panicked and stood up. When did that happen!?  
  
He almost missed everything of what Nino told him to get in his shock and tried not to gasp as he took in the colours. He knew one would see the dark primary colours first, after a while you could also depict different shades of those and after almost 24 hours the whole spectrum. Their teachers explained that was so that you won't be too overwhelmed.  
  
“I will send you a message with the list. You will forget otherwise, ne Oh-chan?” Nino said finally and Ohno remembered he was on the phone with his lover.   
  
“Uhm… Yes, probably,” he laughed weakly.   
  
“When will you be home? I want to make sure I have dinner ready when you return,” Nino added and Ohno panicked once more. He was in no way ready to see Nino right now.   
  
“We needed longer at the gallery than we thought. I’m still in the city. I will write you a message when I’m on the train?” he answered and Nino chuckled.   
  
“You sound as if you do something naughty. But sure. Sounds good to me. Be careful, ne?” Nino said and Ohno couldn't help the smile blossoming on his face at those words.  
  
“Of course. No need to worry. Bye, Nino, I have to go,” Ohno added when he realised that they would announce the next stop soon and that Nino would be able to hear it if he didn't close his phone right now.   
  
Ohno stepped out of the train at the next station even if he wasn't even sure if it was his stop yet. But he needed time to calm down and more importantly: to think. He looked around for a moment before he saw that there was a park nearby.   
  
That looked like the right place to sit and think without anybody around. So Ohno went there. He kept his eyes mostly on the ground only looking up to check his surroundings and where he was and sat down on the first empty bench he arrived at.   
  
Ohno rubbed his eyes tiredly and pressed the heels of his hand against them for a moment. He felt a headache coming from all the overwhelming things he saw now. It slowly became clearer. Some colours and shapes stood out while others were just barely there and it was a strange feeling. Ohno was used to be surrounded by greys and this now was a bit much, to be honest.   
  
  
And Ohno felt bad. He felt as if he was cheating on Nino even if he wasn’t. Ohno wanted to run home and hug his lover close and tell him how much he loved him and that he won’t leave him ever. It was strange. He somehow met his soul mate earlier - probably somewhere in Tokyo while getting on the train.   
  
That was at least the only place he actually touched foreign people and looked into their eyes while apologising softly. Ohno frowned and tried to think back to think about the person who could be his soul mate. Jun told them that it was a unique feeling to speak to him for the first time. You would feel a kind of belonging and knowing the other but Ohno had felt none of that.   
  
The only time Ohno had instantly known he belonged somewhere was when he had laid eyes on Nino for the very first time.  
  
  
Ohno's thoughts had been so full of Nino and the new song he would hear soon, and perhaps convince Nino to play his most favourite songs while he was at it, that he didn’t really pay any attention to the people around him. Ohno felt a bit sorry for his soul mate if he felt the way Jun described and Ohno completely ignoring it.   
  
Ohno didn’t really know what to do. The only thing he was sure of was that he wouldn’t be able to tell Nino, not now at least. He didn't want to lie to Nino for his whole life - and frankly, Ohno didn’t think he could if he tried. Nino was too observant and Ohno too excited when he discovered new things. Colour was a big thing to discover and Ohno had problems to concentrate on his thoughts as he looked around curiously to take it all in.   
  
That was the reason Ohno couldn’t go home yet. He had to get used to this at least a bit beforehand or Nino would realise something was wrong the moment he stepped into their apartment.   
  
“What should I do?” he mumbled miserably and tried to fight his sadness and frustration. He needed to think of a plan! All those emotions and other things didn’t help him now. Ohno was just so bad at planning, especially when he was panicking inside.  
  
  
Sho could help! Ohno was sure of it, so he fished out his phone to write a short message to his best friend: >I messed up. I don’t know what to do. Can we meet? Like right now?<   
  
He waited nervously for an answer and sighed relieved when his phone beeped and checked the time. He had to write Nino in half an hour the latest so that the younger wouldn’t worry.   
  
>What happened? And yes we can. At the cafe near my workplace in around ten minutes?< Ohno felt relief wash over him and he took another breath before leaving for the café he would meet SHo.   
  
When he arrived there he saw that Sho wasn’t there yet and chose a quiet table in the corner to sit down and wait for the other.   
  
“Yo,” Sho greeted when he sat down across from him and Ohno blinked. He hadn't realised that he had drifted off again. It was still strange to see things differently now. Especially someone like Sho who he had known for half of his life. “So what happened? What did you do?”  
  
“It seemed as if I have run into my soul mate,” Ohno explained. There was no reason to beat around the bush. He didn’t have that much time left and he needed help urgently. So trying to soften his words was not possible right now.   
  
“What?” Sho stared at him with big shocked eyes and Ohno shrugged uncomfortably.   
  
“I had an appointment in the city hall for my next exhibition,” he began and rubbed his forehead. His headache was just getting stronger. “And on the way back I ended up in the rush hour and must have run into my soul mate. I wasn't careful enough. In the train, I fall asleep as always and as I woke up later I began to see colours. I don’t know what to do, Sho-kun.” He felt miserable. Especially with how surprised Sho looked.   
  
Ohno took a sip of his tea and waited mutely. Sho finally relaxed and leant back in his chair.   
  
“I see and you are worried about Nino.” It was a statement not a question since they all knew about Nino’s thoughts about that matter.   
  
“Of course, I am. You know that Nino will try everything to make me meet him or her. God, I don’t even know if it’s a woman or man I ran into. I was so focused on getting home that I didn’t realise anything. I know that I probably have to try and meet them so that we can talk about it but… What should I do?”  
  
Sho shook his head thoughtfully. “I don’t know Satoshi. You know Nino the best. I think you should be honest with him because he will be more hurt when he finds out later. But you should also take some time to come to term with it on your own. It will be hard to fight two things at once. You want to stay with Nino don’t you?”  
  
Ohno looked at him with fury. “Of course! He is the love of my life. I don’t want to lose him and I don’t think any soul mate could change my feelings for him.”  
  
Sho grinned and ruffled Ohno’s hair like they were still little kids. “Then you should talk about it with Nino. I’m sure he will understand if he thinks it over. But as I said, I think you should wait a day or two. You look overwhelmed with it all and in no way ready for an argument.”  
  
“I am,” Ohno mumbled thoughtfully. He was a very visual person. To have everything change right before his eyes was a lot to take in.   
  
“So get used to it a bit. Then talk to Nino. But do so soon. And if you need any help we are here, okay?”   
  
“Okay, thanks, Sho. I’m sorry for the short notice. And I think I need to leave soon. Kazu will worry,” he mumbled and put down some money to pay for their drinks. It was the least he could do. Ohno had written a short message to Nino before Sho had arrived and really just wanted to be with the younger one now. He wanted to hold him close and think of nothing else but Nino.   
  
  
When Ohno finally entered their home that evening he stopped right in the doorway to the kitchen. He had heard Nino’s answering call from there and tried to prepare himself for seeing Nino in this new light.   
  
Ohno soon realised nothing could have prepared him for this. Nino was busy making them something to eat, it looked and smelled kinda like fried rice with vegetables but the bright colours of the vegetables were slightly disturbing.   
  
His eyes were soon trained on Nino, though. Nino looked wonderful. He wore a light beige slightly too big sweatshirt and very comfy looking dark blue shorts, as usual when it was warm he didn’t wear any shoes or socks and Ohno loved the skin he was treated to.   
  
His hair was black - just as he was used too - but his skin was a creamy colour. Ohno soon realised that Nino was much fairer than he was and he was curious as for how the contrast of his slightly brown skin would look against Nino. He tried hard not to imagine his hand splayed on the naked stomach of his lover and cleared his throat.   
  
“I’m back,” he repeated finally and entered the kitchen fully. He wanted to see everything from Nino but he was also scared of it. In no way, he could completely hide that Nino looked so different to him now.   
  
“Welcome back. Dinner is almost ready, too. Set the table, please?” Nino asked and Ohno hummed a little in the back of his throat before shuffling over to press his lips to the ticklish neck of Nino.   
  
Nino swatted the ladle slightly into his direction to shoo him away. Ohno went willingly and had to hold down a gasp when he saw that Nino’s lips were a lovely rosy colour and that the beloved mole was even more visible in contrast now.  
  
“Yes, yes. No need for violence,” Ohno whined and grinned when Nino laughed. He could imagine the mirth in Nino’s bright eyes and forced himself to set the table without stealing too many glances at Nino. Just how would Nino’s eyes look? They were so expressive in their monotone already and Ohno was sure that he would be blown away if he was able to look at them now.  
  
Ohno sat down after he had set the table and had brought two glasses of cold tea to the table as well and waited for Nino to put the pan on the table. It smelled delicious and he couldn’t help himself to compliment Nino. Nino chuckled when he turned around and Ohno held his breath when he could finally look into those eyes he loved so much.   
  
They really did sparkle and the colour seemed to be from another world. They were honey brown and had darker spots intertwined in there as well. Ohno could look at them for hours and he wished he could draw them in detail. But he knew he would never achieve the right shade he would need to convey fully the beauty of them.   
  
“What is wrong?” Nino asked confusedly and Ohno realised that he had been staring for too long already.   
  
“I just thought about how much in love I am with you,” he mumbled honestly and smiled when Nino frowned at him. At least he was lucky to be an artist with the unhealthy obsession of staring at his lover and drawing him. So Nino was kind of used to Ohno staring at him whenever he was out for most of the day. But he had to be careful from now on. Nino was even more observant than Ohno was and that was kind of unnerving.


	3. Chapter 3

Nino watched Ohno a lot these last few days. Ohno was behaving a bit strange. At least stranger than he normally was and that was saying a lot since his boyfriend was a strange man, to begin with. A lovely man but a strange one nonetheless. 

Ohno was staring into space a lot these last few days and he was drawing little to none which was greatly disturbing. Ohno normally was doodling a lot and almost never stopped. Nino sighed and massaged his nasal bone for a moment before sitting beside the older on the sofa. He knew Ohno was hiding something from him and he was going to find out even if that was the last thing he did! 

Okay, that was a bit overdramatic. Nino felt nervous when he took Ohno’s hand in his own and played with the fingers of the older. Ohno’s eyes were glued to their entwined fingers with interest and Nino leant against Ohno after a moment of hesitation.

“What is wrong?” he asked finally and Ohno looked up a bit panicky. 

“Nothing… Why should there be anything wrong with me?” he asked and his voice had a strange tone to it. 

“Ohno. You are the worst liar I have ever met. So please, just tell me: What happened? We probably find a solution if we talked about it.”

“I don’t think I would like your kind of solution,” Ohno said meekly after a while and Nino felt a cold hand gripping at his insides. There was only one thing Ohno and he argued about so often that Nino had difficulties to remember the number of times they talked about it. He loosened his grip on Ohno’s hand and moved away from Ohno who looked hurt. 

But why would he be? Nino would never hold him back and Ohno knew it. He would let Ohno go as was the best because Nino was sure that Ohno’s heart would break otherwise. 

Ohno grabbed his hand and tugged him closer again before forcing him to look into his eyes. 

“No… I don’t want you to let go!” he said forcefully and Nino flinched at the loud strict voice. “Please, Nino that is in no way a solution. It is just you running away and hurting us both. Please, listen to me, yes?” Nino sighed deeply and closed his eyes before nodding slowly, allowing Ohno to continue. 

 

“It’s true. Okay? I ran into a person who seems to be some kind of soul mate for me. I can see colours now and it’s strange, scary but also wonderful. I’m sorry for hiding it from you.” Nino just looked at him with unreadable eyes and Ohno shuddered at how closed off he seemed. His normally bright eyes were so dark now and Ohno wanted to just hold Nino for hours and hours and never let go but he couldn’t. Nino wouldn’t let him right now.

Nino felt his heart breaking. He has read everything about such kinds of soul bonds. As the meeting was so world-changing to all of them they shared a special bond from that day on. 

Many people couldn’t live without the other and sought them out and fell in love because they couldn’t live without the person that shared the exact same colour palette than they did. 

It hurt to think that he would loose Ohno now to some unknown person. But Nino’s face remained stony. He would never let Ohno know how much the thought of losing him hurt.

“That’s nice for you. You can be happy with him or her now, right?” he asked forcefully cheerful and Ohno shook his head. 

“No. I wouldn’t be as happy with anyone else as I am with you, Kazu. And I don’t even know that person. I ran into many people on the way to my train. I don’t know who it is,” Ohno answered a bit miserable and Nino scoffed. 

Nino rubbed his eyes and looked at the ceiling for a moment deep in thought. Ohno was stubborn, he realised. Breaking up with him wouldn’t be easy and Nino was too weak, to be honest, to force Ohno away without being completely sure he would be happier that way. 

“Okay, we find them!” Nino decided resolutely and Ohno looked up shocked. 

“What?!” 

“We will be doing a search for your soul bond so that you realise that it’s the only logical thing to be with them forever,” Nino explained and stood up to set up his laptop to do an online search. There were sites for situations like the one Ohno was in after all.

 

Nino knew that he hurt Ohno in the moment when he asked him about everything that happened that day he went to the city hall for his exhibition but he tried hard to ignore that. 

Nino already knew when Ohno was hurrying for the train and which train he took so he could make an advertisement on one of the most popular sites for soul bonds: soulfinder.com. He took a deep calming breathe when he finally clicked the button to put the whole thing online. 

“So now we have to wait. But I am sure somebody will answer,” he said and sat down across of Ohno who was sitting on a chair in the kitchen with a pout on his lips. 

“Don’t I have any say in that?” Ohno asked after a while and Nino looked up at him. He shrugged and played with a pen that was laying on the table. 

“It’s making you unhappy, I know. But did you even think for a moment of that other person? As far as we now you have pulled their life upside down now and they might look everywhere for you because they are unhappy. I know you think you can’t love anyone more than me but it’s your soul mate,” Nino explained slowly and Ohno shook his head stubbornly. 

“You are!” Ohno argued and looked at him hard. “You know what I am thinking most of the time. You make me happy and you complete me. How can anyone be better for me than you?” he asked and Nino rubbed his forehead. 

“Now you think so. But it can change once you meet them for real,” Nino said and Ohno took his nervous fingers into his own hand. 

“Why? I don’t understand why you are so stubborn, Nino. Do you think there is anyone better out there for me? For you? Are you unhappy with me?” Ohno looked scared at Nino who shook his head as he caressed the cold fingers of Ohno. 

“No, I am the happiest with you,” he said earnestly and smiled softly. “And because of that, I want only the best for you." Nino kissed the hand once, twice before letting Ohno go. “Because I love you too much to be the reason you might be unhappy in the future.”

“But my feelings won’t change,” Ohno cried out and stood up to move around. Nino watched him for a moment with a sad feeling and then stopped him. He tugged at his wrist and made Ohno look at him once again. 

“Meet them, okay? Don’t make any decisions until then. You have to meet them. Think about how they might feel now. It’s normal to want to be close to your soul bond after all.”

Ohno looked at him for a long time and Nino felt his heart skipping a beat when those dark eyes were on him with such intensity. Finally, Ohno gave up and nodded. 

“Okay… Okay, we do as you think is the best for the moment,” he finally agreed and Nino nearly wept at the pain that shot through him at those words. The thought of losing Ohno forever was so strong in the moment that he had to close his eyes to fight through it. He would never have thought it would hurt so much physically to let Ohno go.

 

Nino watched Aiba closely. The older was sitting across him in the cafe they choose to meet at - or where Aiba forced him to meet to be exact and sighed a bit. 

“What is it?” he asked after watching Aiba for full five minutes fiddling with his straw and rolled his eyes. “Seriously. Why do you all think that I need to talk to any of you? And why are you all fidgeting so much around me? I’m okay,” he snapped finally and Aiba looked up. Seriously only his friends!

“You are not. Don’t lie to me,” Aiba said finally. “I have known you since kindergarten. I know when you are feeling okay and when not. And in the moment you are in pain.” Nino bit his lips and looked at the tabletop. 

“You know what happened. You know that Ohno somehow ran into his soul bond,” Nino said and Aiba shrugged a bit. 

“Yes, I know and I know that you made an advert to find them,” Aiba answered and thanked when they finally got their lunch. Nino nodded in thanks as well and shrugged at Aiba’s questioning glance before cutting his hamburger steak and taking the first bite. 

“Because it hurts when they don’t meet. It hurts to think that there might be someone with whom Oh-chan shares so much more than with me,” Nino said and licked his lips. The sauce was good and the meat was tender. 

“You will pay right?” Nino asked for the second time this day and Aiba rolled his eyes before he nodded. 

“I already promised, didn’t I? So, yes, I will pay for us both,” Aiba mumbled and Nino threw him a happy grin. It was great to get treated from time to time. He really loved that.

“But back to the topic, you are hurting right now by doing all that. And you are hurting Oh-chan. It’s not exactly fair for you to decide that you both will break up just because of that,” Aiba tried to get back to the topic and Nino sighed a bit. 

“I know, okay? I know that I’m not being nice or fair and that it’s probably ridiculous to try to get Ohno to meet this soul bond of his. But I read all about them you know? My parents divorced over my father finding his soul bond and getting married to her and getting children and never ever meeting with us again. I know my grandfather died just days after his soul bond - my grandmother - died because he couldn’t continue living without her. I now that I hurt Ohno because I try to break up."

"But I told him from the beginning. I won’t hold him down when he finds his soul bond and wants to be with them. I don’t know if he wants to or not. He says, he doesn’t. And I really want to believe him. I do. But he never really met them. He doesn’t know what happens when he sees them or when they talk. I want to make sure that he won’t ever regret it, you know? I can’t continue to live by his side while thinking that there is a person out there that was made for him. With whom he shares so much more probably, with time at least."

"I don’t want him to resent me because he never tried to reach out to them. So yeah. I hurt us both with this search. But I just have to make sure. I can’t live like that,” Nino revealed and tried not to look at Aiba who didn’t say anything until now. He knew everyone thought him stupid and cruel and they were probably right. 

Ohno probably didn’t want to be with him after all that regardless of his feelings after he met with that one person, who seemed to destroy everything he had without being there even. Nino, of course, knew that the fault laid only by him.

 

“I can try after he decided nothing changes, perhaps. But not in the moment. And I can’t be so close to him right now. Not as I used to. It hurts too much. It hurts to think that he will leave me for good soon. So I have to get used to being alone again after all these years and it will be hard. And not only me and Oh-chan. I am thinking about that other person, too. How do they feel? Do they want to meet Oh-chan? Are they sad because they don’t know that it’s Oh-chan? No, Aiba they have to meet at least once,” he whispered finally and took another bite of his steak. The meat was tasteless now and he didn’t know how he ever could think anything else again.

Aiba sighed and tousled Nino’s hair lovingly. “I still think it’s stupid. But it’s also so much you. You are always so hard to yourself,” Aiba mumbled and shook his head. 

“Try to not to be too hard on yourself for once, yeah?” Aiba said and Nino shrugged. However could he not be like that? It felt as if that was the only right way to do it even if he was scared about the outcome. 

When he got home that evening, Ohno was waiting for him and Nino had to hold back to not go to him and snuggle up into his embrace. 

Ohno looked so sad and he wanted to make him happy again but he was the one that made Ohno felt bad in the first place so he didn’t know if he had any rights to make him happy again. He opened his laptop and blinked when he got an e-mail with the contact details of the person that could very possibly be Ohno’s soul bond. 

“Oh-chan someone replied,” he said and stood to exchange places with the older one. He felt scared but also relieved. After this everything would be answered.


	4. Chapter 4

Ohno wasn’t sure that he really wanted to meet that person that Nino found. But he knew that Nino would force him to go if he didn’t go voluntarily. 

In the end, Ohno and Nino had argued too much about it all already and Ohno was too tired to care anymore. He just wanted it to be over and when meeting the other person would make it possible to speak with Nino about their relationship again - hopefully without yelling or Nino’s denial - then he would do it without any resistance. 

Ohno watched Nino who was going through Ohno’s planner to make sure that they found a date when Ohno and his soul bond would be able to meet. Ohno wanted nothing more than to hold Nino and beg him to just stop or come with him. But he couldn’t. Nino wouldn’t be happy and wouldn’t let him so he sat on his hands and watched silently while Nino muttered to himself. 

“You have so many appointments in the next two weeks,” Nino stated and Ohno shrugged uncomfortably. He had most of them already forgotten and knew that he had to check on them soon to make sure that Jun wouldn’t kill him for forgetting anything important. “It can’t be helped since it’s almost time for your exhibition, though. Your timing really sucks, Oh-chan,” Nino added and Ohno smiled faintly.

“We can do it after the relaunch of the show?” he asked hopefully and Nino glared at him for a moment. 

“No way in hell. We have to settle this soon. This is no way we can continue on living,” he chided and Ohno sighed. Nino was right after all. This living together and not really living together hurt them both too much to keep going. 

“I’m free tomorrow right?” he asked then and Nino looked up. 

“Isn’t that too spontaneous?” Nino asked worriedly and Ohno shrugged. He didn’t care. He stood to take the planner, the contact details and his phone from Nino and dialled the number swiftly. He wanted to get over everything fast.

 

“Hello?” a female voice asked on the other line and Ohno frowned a little as he tried to decipher the kanjis of her name correctly. 

“Nishikawa-san? It’s Ohno Satoshi. I think I ran into you on the platform,” he began and tried not to flinch when she let out a surprised gasp. 

“Oh… The one from the advert? Right? Uhm…” Ohno fought a smile at her hesitant voice and leant back against the table he stood in front of. 

“Yes, that’s right. I might be your soul bond or mate or whatever you might call it. I’m not sure, but yeah. Can we meet? To settle this? Would tomorrow be okay? I am really sorry but I don’t have much time in the next few days to weeks because of work and yeah… I would like to talk to you about it all as soon as possible.” 

Ohno took a deep breath. Yes, he was very nervous about this. He was sure he would never fall in love with someone else but his sweet lover who tried not to look as anxious as he probably felt. But Ohno also knew that meeting one’s soul bond was strange to say at least. He didn’t know how he would react when he first saw her after all. 

“Tomorrow? Uhm, yeah. It’s okay. Could we meet at the station? Around lunchtime,” she finally said and Ohno took another deep breath before he nodded and then remembered that she wouldn’t be able to see him on the phone. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can manage that. See you then,” he said and closed his phone after finishing the call. He looked at Nino who looked so small and afraid at the moment that Ohno couldn’t help but cup his cheek lovingly.

“We’ll meet for lunch it seems. I will be home for dinner, though,” he promised and stroke over Nino’s quivering lips with a thumb.

“It’s okay if you want to stay the night. That would probably be normal after all,” Nino whispered in a broken voice and Ohno sighed as he took him into a tight embrace. 

“You are so stupid. I should really hate you for what you make us go through. I will be back as soon as I can. Don’t worry about it. And then we talk. We talk about your stupid fears and your stupid hurtful thoughts and then we make up with the best makeup sex one can imagine, you hear me?” Ohno said seriously and Nino looked up for a moment.

“If you say so,” he mumbled and Ohno groaned a little in frustration. In the moment he wanted to shake his lover to make him see sense but it would be unsuccessful. Hopefully, tomorrow would be easier for them. 

They broke apart and Ohno tousled his hair softly. “Try to get some sleep,” he murmured then. “You have a meeting for that new album in the evening,” Ohno reminded Nino and pushed him into the direction of their bedroom. 

Even if Ohno forgot most of his appointments it seemed that Nino’s were burned into his brain and he knew that Nino was too exhausted for a long meeting as he was now. 

Nino luckily went without complaining and closed the door behind him and Ohno fell on the couch where he hid his face in his hands and tried to calm down. Tomorrow!

—

The next morning came too soon if anybody asked Ohno. He didn’t sleep well since Nino had decided that he couldn’t share a room with Ohno right now and so he was on the couch in their living room and not in the warm bed next to Nino. 

Of course, Nino had said that he could use the bed but Ohno knew that sleeping on the couch was bad for Nino’s back and sleeping in their bed alone when he knew Nino was just in the other room was impossible for him. 

For Nino apparently too, since Ohno had heard him moving around in the other room until late at night when Nino finally gave up and vanished into his music room to play for the rest of the night. 

Nino was still there when Ohno changed his clothes and searched for the smaller man. He poked his head into the room and waited until he had Nino’s attention. 

“I’ll be going. Eat something and don’t forget to drink. I will be back early,” he promised and Nino nodded. Ohno frowned a little and crossed his arms in front of his upper body. 

“I mean it, Kazu. Take a break and rest. Or I will call Aiba to look after you while I am away.”

“I’m not a little kid, Oh-chan,” Nino said and rolled his eyes when Ohno shrugged.

“In the moment you are acting like one. So… My reason stands,” Ohno answered and sighed before looking at his watch. He had to go if he didn’t want to be late and even if he didn’t really care if he let Nishikawa-san wait he knew that was bad manners. 

So he waved once more and then vanished. While he was walking to the train station he called Aiba to ask him to look after Nino for him and was glad when Aiba happily promised. Now he could calm down a little at least and waited for his train. 

Ohno still felt nervous when he thought about meeting that woman so soon but now there was nothing he could do to stop it. He leant back as soon as he found a seat on the train and looked out of the window. 

He remembered the last time he took it for his meeting with Jun and how different everything looked and was. He was happy with Nino then. Everything was going perfect and he was, of course, a little bit anxious. 

Ohno was always anxious about meetings with his manager or strangers because he wasn’t good with words. And also, because he was scared to meet his soul bond on one of his journeys. 

He wished his world had stayed the monotone and grey he was used to and would never be filled with colours. But Ohno now loved seeing all these colours and different shades and he wished he were able to show them to Nino. But Nino never met his soul bond as far as Ohno knew - and Ohno was sure he would now.

Ohno was brought out of his thoughts when he heard his station being called and stood up to leave the train. He didn’t really think about how he would find Nishikawa-san since he never cared about such things. He just hoped that he would see her and just knew. 

Wasn’t that how it worked in all the stories after all?

 

In the end, it was relatively easy to find Nishikawa-san. Not because he saw her and something in him buzzed or whatever but because she was the only other searching figure on the platform when the rush of people getting on and off the train subsided. He went to her and bowed slightly. 

“Nishikawa-san?” he asked and she blinked a bit surprised.

“Ohno-san?” Ohno nodded and smiled faintly, he felt nothing and that made him strangely happy. 

“Nice to meet you. Shall we go?” he asked and she agreed. He didn’t know what to talk about or how to proceed this further but whatever would happen next Ohno really didn't want to stay on the platform to talk this privately. 

Nishikawa, Saori, she introduced herself when they walked up the stairs, led them to a little restaurant nearby and Ohno looked around curiously. It looked lovely and very private. 

A smile came to him when he thought about bringing Nino here the next time they were both in the city. Nino would love the interior and the soft music that was playing. He tried not to sigh at that thought. He really shouldn’t think about Nino right now. It felt wrong and like cheating.

 

The ordered something to eat and to drink and waited till they were alone again. 

“Sorry, it’s really strange right now,” Ohno mumbled and Saori grinned slightly before nodding. 

“You don’t say. It was strange when I was home that evening and started to see colours. To be honest, I freaked out for a moment there and burned our dinner,” she confessed and Ohno smirked for a moment. 

“It wasn’t any different for me, so yeah… I think I freaked out a friend of mine, too, because I called him the first thing after I realised.” 

Ohno sighed and thanked for their food when it arrived. He wouldn’t manage much of it probably but he wanted to at least try. And he hoped that Nino was eating as well. Ohno watched as Saori thanked for the food and began eating in small bites. 

It was quite similar to Nino but the little jump his heart would make whenever Nino tried something was missing. 

Ohno groaned a little when he realised that he really couldn’t forget Nino in the moment. Normally it wasn’t so hard to concentrate on something else than his lover. 

Ohno ate a little lost deep in thoughts and only looked up again when he realised that Saori was looking at him. 

“Why did you look for me so late?” she asked and Ohno shrugged helplessly. 

This all was so awkward. Ohno wished he could ask her about the colours she could see and if she loved the bright yellow of sunflowers as much as he did. 

Or if she was impressed of the many different shades of green the grass, trees and bushes had in the park but he couldn’t do that right now. There were more important things to talk about. 

“Because my boyfriend found out and forced me,” he answered bluntly and ducked his head a bit ashamed at this. He hadn't wanted to say that like this. 

“Sorry. I mean… I was curious about you. But I am in a relationship since years. We are almost in our tenth year and he is the love of my life. Also, he is a bit strange about this whole soul bond thing. I… He… I don’t know,” Ohno mumbled and ruffled his own hair in frustration. Why didn’t he have an easier way with words?

 

“I don’t want to hurt you, I really don’t.”

“Eh! Stop, please,” Saori interrupted and took his hand in hers to calm him down. It worked faster than Ohno thought possible but she was so calm and strangely a little amused even it seemed.

“First of all: I have a family,” she said and grinned a little at his surprised face. “I have a lovely husband and two little children. I would never give that life up because of a bond that we don’t even know how it works. I’m honest with you: I was curious if I would feel anything special when I saw you but I don’t. You could be anyone to me. Second: You are totally not my type. And if I interpret everything right me neither for you.”

Ohno chuckled at that and nodded. “True. I was always more interested in males,” he mumbled a bit sheepishly and she shrugged. 

Ohno realised she honestly didn’t care and that made him happy. “My partner thinks that only soul bonds could be happy together, though."

“I think many are. But I also think many aren’t. I would be happy to have a friend in you and meet you regularly in the future. Perhaps with our families. But nothing more. I think I found my life mate and I believe that soul bonds and life mates don’t have to be the same person.” 

Ohno smiled and squeezed her hand. He felt so much better right now and closed his eyes for a moment. “Thank you. That means a lot to me,” he whispered and she winked a bit. 

Suddenly everything seemed so much easier. It was easier to breathe and to think straight. Now all he had to do was to talk to Nino and he was sure that he could do it. This time Nino had to listen to what he had to say. 

They spend the rest of their meal and an hour after that talking about what happened to them in the last few days since they could see colours and Ohno learnt that Saori’s husband met his soul bond already years ago and had a deep friendship with him but nothing more than that. That gave him hope.


	5. Chapter 5

Ohno was a bit anxious when he said goodbye to Saori. He was glad to have met her and he certainly wanted to meet her again but first, he had to talk to Nino. Aiba had written that he managed to get some food into their stubborn friend and was now on his way back home so that was at least one thing less to worry about. 

Ohno watched the scenery changing while he rode back home and smiled softly when the grey buildings got less and more greenery could be seen. He loved their little house in the outskirts of the city even if it was a bit of a hassle to get into the city for special work appointments or for meeting their friends. 

It was their little sanctuary where they could be together and where they had just enough space to create their kinds of art. Ohno with his pictures and Nino with his wonderful melodies. 

Without realising he hummed a song his lover had written for him for one of their anniversaries under his breath and moved the fingers of one hand on his knee just as if he would be playing the piano to it. It was the only song he managed to remember and to play - at least the beginning - and he treasured it. 

 

Finally, he arrived at the station and went off to hurry back home. Ohno opened the door to their apartment and pulled off his shoes and coat before following the sounds coming from further inside the house. He could hear the soft music from the piano and opened the door to the music room silently. 

Nino sat on the little stool in front of his grand piano and played their song with closed eyes. It sounded bittersweet in Ohno’s ears since the tempo was slightly slower than he was used to and he was sure that the notes were all a little bit darker and shakier than normally. He stepped into the room when he realised that Nino was crying without a sound and hugged him as soon as he was close enough. Nino gasped a little in surprise and then leant against the older man seemingly defeated for the moment.

“You are back and you sent Aiba to check up on me,” he mumbled and Ohno hummed in agreement.

“Just as I promised. I had to make sure that someone takes care of you.”

“How was your meeting?” Ohno sighed and hid his face in Nino’s hair. He swayed a bit from right to left with the younger man in his arms and continued to hold him as tightly as he dared without hurting him.

“Do you really want to know?” he asked in a whisper and Nino shrugged. He was silent for a long moment before he nodded softly, almost unwillingly.

“I have to. I… I’m scared, Oh-chan.”

“The meeting was good. We ate at a nice little restaurant. I have to take you there sometime in the future. I’m sure you’ll like it,” Ohno explained and sighed when Nino stiffened in his arms. “Don’t you dare to say anything stupid right now,” Ohno mumbled sternly when he felt Nino trying to fight his embrace and opening his mouth. 

He loosened his embrace to pull Nino up from the seat he was on and into the living room. There he pushed him on the sofa and sat down beside him. He forced Nino to look into his eyes and smiled softly, warmly at him. One hand softly cupped his wet cheek and stroke his trembling lip while his other held one of Nino’s cold ones tightly.

 

“You are really dumb sometimes, Nino,” he began and held his hand tighter when Nino looked like he wanted to run away. “Why are you trying to shove me away when you are hurt so badly by it? Why force me to meet with her when you are so scared of the outcome?”

Nino stayed mute just as Ohno had thought he would and Ohno shook his head. 

“It was nice meeting her. She is a kind woman, I think, and it was exciting to talk about how the world has changed for us now and walking around in the park and watching people, talking about what we feel and just being together. You might be right if you say we share something. But I don’t love her. Neither does she love me. In fact, she has a husband she loves and two kids, she showed me their pictures and they look really cute together. I didn’t feel any spark when I saw her. Somehow I thought it would be more special. The same special feeling I had when I first saw you,” He frowned and watched Nino who looked confused. He sighed and cupped his cheek in his hands to kiss softly the side of his cute lips. 

“You were the only thing I could think of all the time. I was worried about you and how hurt you were, you know? You are always on my mind and today just showed it again. I couldn’t concentrate on her and we talked probably more about you than about anything else because everything would remind me of you. It is so silly, really, what you do to me. Kazu, I was wrong and I am sorry. I always said that I would do what you want. Just so to make you happy. But I can’t do that. I can’t let you go because regardless of what you say it won’t make you happy.”

“What?” Nino asked confused and probably a bit overwhelmed. He looked really cute and vulnerable right now. Ohno normally didn’t tell him so many things as he did. Ohno only showed what he felt but seldom spoke about it. So it was a little much.

 

“I’m probably talking nonsense. But I want you to know: I am only happy when I'm beside you and I will forever fight for you. So I won’t ever let you go. I love you. Not some unknown soul bond and I don’t think that that will ever change,” he explained and watched Nino who seemed so helpless right now. Ohno felt bad for him but he didn’t know what else he could say to make Nino see reason. 

“But…”

Ohno shook his head and pulled him into an embrace once more. Nino was shivering in his arms, the tears started again and Ohno wanted to protect him even if it was from himself. 

“No, Nino stop thinking that way. I know the damn movies where it seems like they could only live happily ever after if they are with their soul bond. But I also talked a lot with Saori today over it and Sho and even Jun before this all even happened. Our talks sometimes evolve in that direction. I know, that you do everything to avoid this topic so we never talk about it around you. So don’t look so disbelieving.” Ohno chuckled a bit when there was a pout on Nino’s lips. 

“Nobody is really sure that there is only one soul mate you meet. Of course the soul mate you meet to see colours the first time is a big one and one you certainly realise. But there are talks that there might other people who come into your life to show you things, to awaken things in you and they might even leave after a certain amount of time. Why does that theory have to be wrong but the other right?”

Nino shook his head and Ohno rolled his eyes before he pinched Nino hard. He sometimes hated his boyfriend for his stubbornness. Nino yelled and rubbed the sore spot while glaring at Ohno.

“I’m sorry Nino, you won’t get rid of me. So stop trying,” Ohno said in the end and just held him tightly again. He could feel Nino struggle but he didn’t let go. He would never let Nino go so easily again. He thought a lot today, really, he did. And Saori’s story about her and her husband just made one thing clearer, he and Nino were right, they were perfect together. Ohno didn’t need anything else. They shared this life together and Ohno didn’t care if Nino never would see the same kind of colours he did as long as he saw their lives entwined. 

Ohno relaxed only when he felt Nino deflating on top of him. Nino turned and Ohno held him even tighter when he realised that Nino cried against his shoulder once again. He would have to make sure that Nino drank something and took some painkillers later, Ohno thought. Even if Nino kind of deserved the pain he didn't want to see him suffer. 

 

“You are so stupid. You big, stupid idiot. You…” Nino cried and Ohno chuckled a little as he swayed them both softly and stroke Nino’s back to calm him down.

“I could say the same things right back. Are you finished making our lives miserable now?” Ohno asked calmly and Nino rubbed his red eyes and his runny nose. 

“I will never give you a second chance to turn away,” Nino declared and looked at him stubbornly. “If you decide not to pursue your happiness with your soul mate you are stuck with me even if that makes you unhappy in the future. It’s your own fault then and I will watch you suffer,” he added and Ohno grinned amusedly while he rubbed the wet spots on his cheeks until they were dry. 

“Silly. You are my happiness,” he answered simply and opened his arms to welcome Nino when he went down weeping again. Ohno sighed and hugged him tight while he tried to get a bit more comfortable on the sofa so that Nino could cry as much as he needed to be better. At least that was settled now.

—

It took almost an hour for Nino to fully calm down and he ended up falling asleep on top of Ohno as tired and worn out as he was. Ohno sighed a little - he had thought of a different kind of ‘sleeping together’. But he only kissed the head lovingly and carefully put Nino down on the sofa. He covered him with a soft blanket and went to the bath to put cold water on a cloth, after making sure that it wasn’t dripping anymore he carefully stroke the hair out of Nino’s face and put it on Nino’s red eyes. He hoped that it would take away some of the pain when Nino woke up. 

He put on soft music because he couldn’t stand the silence in the moment and hurried over to the music room. He observed the chaos Nino had made earlier and began straightening it up. He would let Nino sleep for now and wake him up after he had ordered food and prepared them some drinks, Ohno decided. 

It was two hours later - Ohno had used the time to make a few calls with Jun and finally do all the chores that they didn’t do the last few days. He was feeling very accomplished and was about to call in for delivery when a moan from the sofa stopped him in his tracks. There was a sniff and a shuffle and then Nino’s head peeked over the headrest. Nino looked around blearily and Ohno smiled softly. 

He loved this kind of Nino. Nino looked so soft when he was half asleep and Ohno came closer to put a kiss on the wrinkled forehead. 

“Good morning sleepyhead,” he mumbled and grinned when Nino frowned and tried to make sense of everything. Nino tousled his already chaotic hair a bit more and Ohno bit on his lip as not to say something stupid. It had been too long since he had been allowed to see Nino like that. 

“My head,” Nino moaned and Ohno reached beside the sofa to the little table where he had already prepared some painkillers and a glass of water. He would prefer it if Nino ate something first but he knew that Nino wasn’t able to hold anything down when he was in any kind of pain. Nino smiled thankfully and took the medicines. Ohno waited a moment before gesturing with his phone. 

“I was about to call for delivery. Any preferences?” he asked and Nino frowned in thought before he shook his head. Ohno rolled his eyes before dialling the number of their favourite take out restaurant and ordered the usual when the call connected. 

Nino was watching his every move and Ohno couldn’t help himself with looking at Nino in return. It took a few moments until Nino reached out his arms. “Hug?” he asked in a little needy voice and Ohno smiled when he nodded and came around to take him into his arms. He hid his face in Nino’s hair and closed his eyes.

“I’m really an idiot. I’m sorry,” Nino whispered and Ohno hummed a bit speechless. It was seldom that Nino would apologise. 

“You are forgiven. I still want some makeup sex in the bath later, though,” Ohno said after a few minutes of more silence and Nino fidgeting in his arms nervously. Nino stilled in his arms for a moment before choking on his laugh. 

“Everything you want.”

—

Nino was stealing glances at Ohno the whole time during their dinner and Ohno liked that very much. Nino’s eyes on him were hot. He hurried with finishing his meal and then concentrated on Nino as the other man slurped down the last bit of his pasta. The glow in his eyes and the colour in his face were finally back and Ohno was really happy. 

“Stay there,” Nino demanded when he was finished and pointed to the sofa when Ohno looked at him confused. Nino disappeared to bring away their trash and then into the bathroom. Ohno listened to the sounds of water running and frowned when Nino came back with an impish grin on his face.

“Come on now,” Nino said and helped him up. Ohno rolled his eyes when Nino hit him playfully but he couldn’t help himself with kissing him softly on the forehead again. He loved the sparkle in Nino’s eyes. 

“Have you decided what you want now?” Ohno asked when they stopped in the bathroom and the soft smell of his favourite bathing salts hit his nose. He closed his eyes while his shoulders relaxed.

Nino hummed in thought and then nodded when Ohno looked at him again. “Yes, I want you naked,” he explained and tugged at his shirt. Ohno giggled and caught his fingers to intertwine them with his own. He kissed the soft lips and leant his forehead against Nino’s.

“And what when I want you naked? You promised, I get whatever I want,” he reminded him and kissed him again before biting Nino's lip softly. “Come on, you first.”

 

With a big pout, Nino stepped back and then shrugged off his clothes, just as Ohno wished. Ohno watched him closely and smiled when he realised that Nino’s face went a bit red. He never realised that Nino blushed that often but it was really cute. 

When Nino tried to hide behind his arms and hands Ohno stepped up and took his hands in his own. He tugged him close again and kissed him deeply. 

“You look so sexy like that,” he whispered in his ear and observed the body in front of him and let his eyes wander over it. He wanted to look at every centimetre but he knew that Nino was too shy for that normally. That was also the reason Nino decided to bring him to the bath. Here he could hide in the water.

“Sh-Shut Up!” Nino groaned and Ohno chuckled before tilting his chin up again to kiss him softly. He nibbled on Nino’s lower lip and when Nino moaned into the kiss and his body finally moulded against Ohno’s, Ohno held him carefully around the waist and entered his mouth to deepen the kiss. 

They kissed for a while with Nino’s hands around Ohno’s neck and Ohno couldn’t help his grin when Nino grumbled as he moved his hips against Ohno’s and felt only the rough material of his jeans.

“Oh-chan!” Nino whined when he broke the kiss and Ohno pecked his nose once. 

“Help me?”

 

Nino grumbled but his fingers were fast on opening all the small buttons of Ohno’s shirt and jeans. He liked it more when Ohno pampered him but touching Ohno and watching him react to his touches was nice as well, Nino decided. They went back to kissing and caressing after Ohno was finally naked and Nino licked his lips after a few minutes of it. 

“The water is getting cold,” he scolded and tugged at Ohno’s hand. Ohno kissed his cheek once before he let Nino lead him to the bathtub. He climbed into it first and helped Nino on the slippery ground until Nino sat on his lap. Ohno was happy to have invested into a big luxury bath because that way they had lots of space. 

Nino’s legs were on either side of Ohno’s hips and he moved on top of him at a pace they both liked. Ohno moaned when he felt the swell of Nino’s arousal against his own. 

They kissed again and Ohno explored the inside of Nino’s mouth while Nino’s fingers caressed his shoulder blade and then wandered to the front and over the nipples of the older. He moved his hips carefully and only stuttered in his movements when he felt Ohno’s probing fingers at his entrance. He gasped and broke the kiss to look into Ohno’s eyes who looked at him questioningly while his finger circled his entrance without really pushing in. 

“Yes, please,” Nino whined in the end and Ohno grinned as if he had won something big before pushing his finger in. Nino moaned when Ohno pushed in a second finger and began preparing him. He hid his face in Ohno’s neck and nibbled on the sweet tasting skin. His own movements slowed down the more Ohno’s fingers moved inside of him. 

Ohno took his time. He glanced at Nino the best he could and listened to his little gasps and moans whenever he moved inside of him. He added a third finger and carefully searched for the little bump deep inside of Nino. When Nino cried out and moved against his fingers, he knew he had found it and concentrated on pushing it again and again. 

“Promise me, you won’t touch yourself,” Ohno whispered and Nino nodded slowly while circling his arms around Ohno's neck. “Good.”

 

Nino didn’t know how long Ohno was already fingering him. But it felt like entirely too long. He tried to move against Ohno’s pelvis again to get some more friction but Ohno had already twice or thrice put a stop to his attempts with his second hand that was holding on his waist tightly so that he wasn’t able to move above Ohno anymore. 

“Please, Satoshi, more,” he whined when Ohno slowed down again and tried to move on his own. He wanted to feel more, he needed to feel more. When his breathing and struggling had calmed down again he could feel Ohno’s little grin against his ear when the movement of Ohno’s fingers in him got faster again. 

“Toshi,” he whined and hit him weakly when the older one chuckled as an answer. 

“What is it?”

“I want you inside me,” Nino mumbled and was glad that Ohno moved slower this time so that he could move up a bit to look sternly into Ohno’s eyes. Or as sternly as he could when he was so aroused.

“I am inside you, as far as I am concerned,” Ohno answered with a grin and Nino hit him in protest. He whined when Ohno’s fingers moved inside of him again and he thought he could feel each path of his fingers against his walls inside. 

“I want you to fuck me, with your dick,” Nino added for good measure before Ohno would mention something like finger fucking what he was clearly doing. “Come on, you wanted hot makeup sex,” Nino whined and his fingers wandered over Ohno’s own dick to cup his balls and squeeze it softly. He was allowed to touch Ohno after all.

He caressed the tip with his fingers and smirked when Ohno got a little bit harder. “Please?” he added in an almost begging voice and Ohno growled deeply before kissing him again. This time the kiss was full of teeth and tongues and Nino liked this almost bruising kisses just as much as the soft caress he mostly got. 

“Your wish should be my command then,” Ohno breathed into his ear and sent a shiver over Nino’s back that way. With a fluid movement, Nino was placed a bit differently on top of him and Ohno pushed in carefully. Nino whined at the slow burn inside and held on Ohno tightly as the older moved inside him with slow thrusts. Ohno’s hands were on his hips to help Nino with the movements and to make sure that the younger wouldn’t topple over. 

The long calloused fingers of Ohno caressed his hips in slow movements and Nino shuddered at the contrast of Ohno's loving touches and kisses and almost hurtful thrusts. 

Nino gasped for breath with each hard thrust and held on Ohno's shoulders tightly as he tried to keep up with the older man. But his movements were too uncoordinated and in the end, he decided to just hold on Ohno as he brought them to their very happy end. 

"You look so sexy right now," Ohno whispered in his ear and Nino whined a little at that comment. 

"Oh-chan," he whispered and forced his eyes to focus on Ohno even if it was hard. He felt as if he was high right now. 

"So sexy. You should see yourself right now," Ohno repeated and pulled Nino down to him to kiss him hard again. Nino moaned into the kiss as Ohno's thrusts had begun to get uncoordinated, faster and a little bit harder. 

Nino felt a tingling come up over his whole body and all of the heat collected in the pit of his stomach. Nino shuddered violently and came untouched between their bodies. He felt Ohno stilling in him and then a hot liquid spilling into him as Ohno came as well.

Nino fell on top of Ohno who held him tightly and Nino kissed his shoulder lovingly from time to time while he caught his breath. It took them a while to regulate their breathings and Nino glanced up to kiss Ohno lovingly. He probably would do it forever if the water wasn't getting cold slowly and Nino felt goosebumps coming up on their arms.

“I love you,” he whispered and grinned happily when Ohno replied with the same words. Slowly they climbed out of the bath and dried themselves before going to finally sleep together in their bedroom. Ohno held Nino as tightly as he could and burrowed his nose in the sweet smelling hair. He was happy to finally have his lover back in his arms.

A/N: Sorry for that bad chapter xx and the even worse NC-17-scene XD


	6. Chapter 6

Nino was exhausted the next morning when he woke up much too early for his liking.

The sun wasn’t even up till now and it was really disturbing to be up so early without any reason at all. He should have been still asleep with all the sex they had. He rubbed his eyes and groaned when he realised how much they burnt. How much everything hurt, to be honest. 

He fell asleep on top of Ohno after Ohno brought him back to their bedroom. He groaned and slid from Ohno while being careful not to wake him up. Ohno seemed to be still completely out of it. Nino kind of envied him for it. Especially when his eyes adjusted to the darkness around him. There was no reason at all for Ohno to be up yet. It was still in the middle of the night it seemed.

Nino sighed a little and tugged the blanket a bit more tightly around Ohno’s frame so that he wouldn’t freeze.

He watched Ohno sleep for a while and a small smile crept onto his face. Ohno was cute sleeping like that. It also helped that today Nino’s heart didn’t hurt so much as it did the last times he watched Ohno sleep or being anywhere in this apartment. 

Nino now knew how silly he exactly had been. Nino didn’t even know why he freaked out that much when he discovered that Ohno had found his soul bond. It had been very silly. Nino knew Ohno loved him. In fact, that had always been the only thing he was completely sure about, and yet… And yet he flipped out. 

 

Nino sighed and left Ohno to look for some more pain killers for his hurting head and took out his contacts. He really shouldn’t fall asleep with them in. And he shouldn’t cry while having them in either because it made everything hurt worse. 

Nino switched the contacts for his glasses and drank down the medicine with a few sips of water before heading for the kitchen. He switched the coffee machine on and his eyes found the calendar almost immediately. He blinked as he realised the date and sighed. He had forgotten how close he was to that anniversary. 

Ohno made him forget that one event that changed his life so easily. But nonetheless, he got restless so close to it. He went closer to the calendar and rubbed his finger over the black ominous eleven that was there. 

He wished he could make that day disappear forever but he couldn’t.  
Nino’s eyes went back to their bedroom where he could just see Ohno’s face. He observed the blondish hair the older had now. Ohno had changed the colour a few days after Nino found out about him being able to see colours and he liked that shade. It was lovely to his dark brown skin and those clear brown eyes. 

Nino closed his eyes and put his head against the cool wall for a moment to calm his thoughts and his thumping heart. Thinking about it all was not good, to be honest. It hurt deep inside his chest.

The coffee machine beeped and Nino went over to make himself a cup of coffee. He put in sweetener and a dash of cream before taking a first sip of the hot drink. It warmed him from the inside out and he felt a little bit better. He frowned in thought for a little while before deciding to tell Ohno everything.

 

Nino took another cup to fill it to the brim with the warm coffee and added a bit of hazelnut syrup for Ohno. Ohno loved hazelnut syrup and some milk in his coffee so sometimes he made it for him because he just loved how Ohno’s eyes would lit up every time when Nino did so especially for him. 

He went to the other and set down the two cups before kneeling down beside the bed. Softly he kissed the red full lips of his lover and stroke his sleep-wrinkled cheek until Ohno’s eyes opened. 

Nino took the moment to find relish in the dark brown eyes before settling back and bringing up the coffee. 

“I made coffee for you, Oh-chan. And… Would you like accompany me today? I want to show you something,” he murmured nervously. Nino smiled happily when Ohno took the cup without hesitation but pressed his lips against Nino’s before taking the first sip. Just a second later Nino was rewarded by a cute bright smile of his lover at the taste.

“Of course. Whatever you want, my love,” Ohno promised and Nino grinned thankfully. Ohno was still cautious around him and Nino could understand. It was his fault after all but he had already decided to go back to what they were before. This time without any secrets, though, and that would be the hard part.

 

They drank their coffees in silence and Nino felt Ohno’s curious eyes on him from time to time but he decided not to say anything just yet. He wanted to enjoy this calm morning between them for as long as he could. Nino knew he was once again selfish but at least Ohno seemed to enjoy their peaceful morning as well. 

They took separate showers and choose some light clothes that wouldn’t be too hot in the sun and Nino took Ohno’s hand in his own as he led him from the house. Nino was happy that Ohno allowed him to lead him wherever they needed to go without asking any awkward questions.

They took the bus and Nino leant against the other in silence as they rode on and on. Nino was very thankful for the calm presence of Ohno beside him. It made everything easier and reminded him why he fell in love with this man at first sight. 

Nino kissed Ohno’s cheek when they left the bus to change for another one where they stayed on for another three stations before they finally stood in front of the graveyard Nino normally tried to forget and to ignore. He always felt bad that he came here so seldom. But Nino really couldn’t cope with being here well. 

Ohno squeezed his hand when he realised that Nino had gone oddly silent and nervous and turned him around a bit. Nino looked up nervously but was once again surprised at the warm look Ohno sent him.

“Why are we here?” Ohno asked softly but Nino just shook his head and kissed his cheek. 

“I can’t tell you yet. Come on, before I decide to run again,” he whispered and crossed the entrance of the graveyard while holding tightly on Ohno’s hand. The knowledge that he wasn’t alone right here helped a lot. They went through the rows of graves in utter silence and Nino looked from one grave stone to the other. 

He read the names carefully until they reached the one he needed to visit. Again Nino felt quite ill in the pit of the stomach when he read the name and dates. He had been so young when he had died.

“Nino?” Ohno prompted carefully after he had watched Nino cleaning the grave and putting some flowers on it, they got when they changed their rides, in silence and didn’t feel like intruding some very private moment anymore. 

 

Nino looked at the name engraved in the stone again and knelt in front of it to touch it softly. He wasn’t ready yet, Ohno realised and did the same. They stayed silent for a minute or more while Nino was praying for the person there and saying a silent ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ to him before he stood up and entwined his fingers with Ohno’s. 

“I wanted you to meet my soul bond, Oh-chan,” he said softly and ignored Ohno’s widening of eyes and shocked, almost hurt, look. 

“As well as my lifesaver,” he added almost as an afterthought. Ohno looked confused for a moment but silently let go of his hand to kneel down once more when he realised what Nino meant.

“Thank you for saving his life,” he whispered and Nino felt tears springing to his eyes at the warm look Ohno had in his eyes. Ohno knew that he had an almost car accident once when he was in his teens and he knew that a person died in it. 

Nino waited until Ohno finished his thanks and then tugged at his wrist, leading him out of the graveyard with slow measured steps. Again they were mostly silent. Ohno giving Nino the time he needed to be able to explain everything to him.

“Today is his death anniversary actually. It has been 18 years now,” Nino explained and held his hand tightly. Ohno squeezed his fingers a bit and hummed in response, showing him that he was listening to him and wouldn’t interrupt him. 

“The moment he ran into me to put me out of danger I could feel it. He probably too because he stopped. He stopped instead of getting to safety because he was so shocked. The next thing I remember is seeing lots of red, you know? I always read it took time until you see colour. But the red of his blood was there from the first moment on. For a long while, I could only see that colour. Dark horrendous red. It was horrible and… I could never tell anyone what happened. That my soul bond died because of me. Because it hurt so much. So I never told anybody I could see colours. It was better this way. I tried to forget what happened even if that was wrong and selfish. And silly. Because how would I be able to forget when I am reminded of him every day?” His voice broke for a moment and he tried his best to regain coherence.

Ohno stared at him in silence and tugged him closer to hug him tightly and warmly. 

“I still see everything tinged in red. I can now see other colours as well but everything seems reddish. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I freaked out. I knew I was horrible but I couldn’t let it go,” he whispered and Ohno shook his head.

“It’s okay, you were scared and hurt,” he murmured right into Nino’s ear and Nino closed his eyes as the love seemed to travel over him and warm him up. 

Ohno couldn’t imagine how it felt to meet one’s soul bond just to lose him the same instance. “I’m sorry you have experienced something like that,” he added and caressed his back until Nino calmed down. 

“And thank you for telling me,” he continued rubbing at his wet cheeks. “You really are a crybaby nowadays”, he chided and kissed him.

Ohno smiled when Nino finally a little shy smile crept back up on Nino’s face at those words. He kissed the palm of Nino's hand while Nino squeezed his other one. They were both sure they won’t ever let go the other again.


End file.
